1.07.2015

Wedding Wednesday - World's Worst Bride

Disclaimer: I'm going to get a little serious (Sincerely) today so if you don't want to read the ramblings of a Bride in Panic Mode, please X out and I promise it won't hurt my feelings.

BorrowedHeaven

I am the world's worst bride.

There. I said it. And that looks worse in writing.

We've been engaged since March 12, 2012 and so far I have the following items planned and set in stone:

1) The Groom (duh)
2) The Date
3) The Venue
4) Photographer
5) DJ 

And all of those decisions, besides the Groom, just happened this past summer/fall. More than 2 years after the proposal. We didn't seriously discuss the wedding until this past summer and that’s when I picked the date. We would “talk” about the wedding in passing before and mention things that would be neat to do for a wedding but nothing was ever set in stone. 

I started to get anxious this past year since everyone kept asking when we were getting married and I had no answer. I would get strange looks of sympathy anytime I responded with “Oh, not sure yet.”  

I kind of always imagined eloping in Vegas but I know our families would still want to be included. And with 2 of my sisters already being bridesmaids in other weddings next year it seemed cruel to ask them to travel for a last minute Vegas wedding and impose ANOTHER expense on them.

I thought of holding out and getting married next year (2016) but once I started “planning” and looking at venues I knew I wanted to do it this upcoming summer. I finally realized that I can’t keep waiting for the “right time” for everyone else to have my wedding. So much could happen in 2 years.. other sisters could be planning weddings, or babies, or God knows what else. If I kept waiting – I knew I'd be waiting forever.

But now..

It seems odd to make a huge deal about the wedding when we’ve been together for so long. Has anyone else ran into this problem? It almost feels childish to be like “OHH OHH Look at me! I’m the bride, finally!” So I'm not. Which I think is making this planning process seem unreal.

And as if that isn't enough to stress about..

I'm also struggling with the idea/tradition of a wedding party. I feel terrible telling my sisters and friends they need to spend money on a dress, shoes, hair, makeup, gifts, hotels, etc. to be a part of my day. It is such a common thing and even I have been in a wedding and never batted an eye at any of the costs but I understand how expensive life is and I don’t want to burden anyone. Sure, I could bypass having a wedding party, but I want those people next to me that day. Is it common to expect bridesmaids to take on all of these expenses? Am I alone in this thinking? Sure, my potential bridesmaids could say no.. but I’m certain they won’t.

Also, the wedding shower… this is another odd tradition to me. I feel weird about having a bridal shower, or telling people what gifts I’d like to receive. I have been to SEVERAL showers over the years and every time I try to imagine myself in that situation and I can’t. We have been living together for years and while I would love matching kitchen accessories and towels (since I still have some from college..) I feel weird asking for presents. 

Has anyone else felt like this? Especially with the Worlds Worst Bride feeling? Or the wedding party / bridal shower?


VERY Sincerely,



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11 comments :

  1. I have a close friend who is in a very similar situation as you. She just doesn't want "all of that," as she calls it. I keep telling her, IT'S OKAY!! Right now, her plan is to go to City Hall with her fiance and get married this winter. Then, this summer, they are going to have a party. They aren't calling it a reception, just a party where everyone can get together. She's given in to a few things like having a wedding cake there and a couple of toasts (to make people happy), but she is finally exciting about her wedding. Just a thought - just don't stress! This is supposed to be a fun time in your life for YOU and YOUR FIANCE! Thanks for linking up with us!

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  2. Ohhh dear I know exactly how you feel. My (now) husband and I live in an area where none of our family/friends are. Personally, I skipped having a wedding shower. I told the bridesmaids to pick the colors and they could pick their own dresses- something they could/would wear again. They did their own hair/make up. My friends are... not the most reliable, so I told them that as long as they were there for the wedding, I didn't care about much else. They figured out flights/what would work for them. There were no wedding gifts- all of this was fine. Bottom line is, if they truly can't do something, they'll let you know.

    Also, you could not pay me enough to go through with the whole wedding thing again LOL. To me, the courthouse "wedding" we had 10 days before was more us. The wedding/reception was for our families and friends.

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  3. It's okay! My husband and I got engaged in 2009 and we didn't start finalizing things until literally Jan. 2014. It will come together, promise!
    Beardy Heart Beauty

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  4. Omgosh! I just want to give you a giant hug and tell you everything is going to be ok! First step, try not to stress yourself out. It's totally not worth it. Second, keep reminding yourself that this is your and your fiance's wedding, so you should be doing what you guys want and not worrying about others. It's so nice of you to be concerned with expenses and whatnot, but in the end you don't want to remember that day as something completely opposite of yourself. Like you said, when you were a bridesmaid, you didn't mind the expense and I'm sure your bridesmaid won't mind it either! In regards to the bridal shower, you could always forego that idea. I had a friend who just had an "I Do BBQ" a few weeks before the wedding and we all just got together to hang out. No gifts, no pressure, just fun!

    Good luck!!!!

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  5. I totally agree with you that so much of the wedding "stuff" is just too much. Or so it seems. I struggled with much of the same things. I tried to make it work for me and allow me to feel as comfortable about what I was doing and/or asking of others as possible. In the end, it all seems to have a way of working out. And the good news is...then it's over. Don't have to stress and worry about it any longer!

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  6. I can totally see how all of the wedding stuff can get to be too much. Just do what YOU feel comfortable with. I have also been thinking about the expenses it puts on everyone else, but in the end it's your day. Just ask yourself, would you do the same for them? If yes, than ask them!

    Thanks for linking up! :)

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  7. Hey it's YOUR wedding! It's YOUR big day! You take as much time as you need and do what you want :)

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  8. One of my friends was in a wedding where the bride let the bridesmaids pick out their own dresses. She gave them paint chips to choose the color by. I love that idea, because they can actually get a dress that they'll wear again AND can control how much they spend!

    Also, there are some really cool sites out there where you can ask for things for your honeymoon - excursions, cooking classes, etc. - instead of asking for physical items.

    Good luck with your planning, and hang in there!!

    XX, SS || A Little Seersucker Sass

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  9. My brother is getting married at the end of this month and it was annoying me how little my future sister in law had completed but as we get closer to the time things are working out so don't stress yourself out for being a bad bride, as a bride you ave more than enough stress already :) x

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  10. I completely agree with you on this post! I just recently got engaged & we are in the very early stages of planning everything. I am also having some mixed feelings about having a traditional wedding & bridal party. I've been a bridesmaid twice & loved it but do also struggle with the idea of them spending so much money (the majority of my friends live pretty far away). I don't think you're the world's worst bride at all! Just know you're not alone out there in how you feel :)

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  11. At least you aren't being a bridezilla!

    Kind regards,
    Loyal to Fashion

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