My First Whiff of the Fall Season

Everyone and their sister has had their panties in a bunch about the impending Fall season for weeks. And I'm sorry to break the news to everyone .. but you were celebrating a little pre-maturely because TODAY, September 22nd, is technically the first day of Autumn according to the calendar.

I love the Fall season and Halloween is even my favorite Holiday but I don’t think I’d say that it is my absolute favorite season of the 4 I am blessed with in NEPA. Summer is by far the best and sadly, it doesn't last nearly as long as it should.


And while everyone has been embracing the season for over a month already I didn’t get my first feeling of “Fall” until the other day when I took the dog for a walk. I caught of brief whiff of that familiar brisk, but still kind of warm, musty, crinkled dusty leaves aroma. The kind of smell that gets stuck in your nose. It’s such a distinct smell, I could recognize it anywhere. It made me wonder if other people have that smell? Obviously people in my part of PA and NY. Maybe it’s not that special, but it made me feel nostalgic. Like I would actually miss that smell if I couldn’t experience it again.

I tried to think of other telltale signs of Fall.

Obviously, the shorter days /dark mornings are a sign and it’s my LEAST favorite. Rolling out of bed at 5:30 a.m. in September when it’s pitch black hurts your soul when all summer you awoke to the sun peaking over the tree tops in a beautiful pink and yellow mixed hazy horizon. 5:30 a.m. is absolutely beautiful then.

Also, the changing of the leaves. Here in PA it seems to happen overnight. Before you can even fully comprehend that the summer season is winding down and before you can say “Wow, the leaves are starting to change” they’ve already fallen into a crunchy blanket over yards and sidewalks throughout town. When I was younger, I remember magnificent displays of bright orange, red, and yellow leaves splattered across the mountainsides but as I’ve gotten older they all seem to be dark reds and browns. Anyone else notice that? Or do we not perceive colors as bright when we’re older?

Clothing is another sign. And I don't mean shopping for sweaters and boots. I mean when you're trying to decide what to wear out on a date. You know it's too cold for that coral summer dress or those cut off shorts but you say "F* it" and decide to wear them "one last time" because subconsciously you know you won't be able to wear them again until next year.

And how about when you do finally succumb to the fact that you have to wear pants or jeans and as you're walking outside the cold wind stings the front of your thighs. And when you start wearing scarves for the purpose of keeping your ears and neck warm rather than just a fashion accessory.

What are some telltale signs of Fall where you live?

But back to the point of pre-mature celebrating..

Marketing companies have convinced us to start celebrating seasons and Holidays way too early which doesn’t allow us to fully immerse ourselves in the here-and-now. So let’s try enjoy each day of each season and not rush onto the next thing the second Hallmark or Starbucks tells us to.

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



Why (I think) Pets and Kids Are Similar

I’ve always grown up with pets. Dogs, cats, hamsters, Guinea pig, parakeet, fish – you know the usual. I love pets and I think I’ll always have a pet in my home because to me - they truly make a house feel more like home (and because they are fluffy!!!")
Paco and I wanted a dog for a couple years before we got Bailey. Well, when I say we I mean when he went Christmas shopping by himself one day and brought home a tiny baby Border Collie, SURPRISE! (This is why he can’t go shopping alone anymore- impulse buyer.)

Before that, I talked about dogs constantly. I looked up pets at our local animal shelter. I researched breeders all over NEPA / NY. And also browsed through newspapers for puppies. But I always managed to talk ourselves off that ledge with “we don’t have time, or money, or that level of maturity to be responsible of another living things life..”  You know, the usual.
But now that we have her, I can’t imagine life without her. Sure, it was cleaner and quieter.. but it also was boring. Is that how parents feel about their children?
Now, I’ve never had a child. So I can’t speak 100 % accurately on the topic, but from what I've gathered in personal observations over the past few years is that..
Pets and Kids both need a lot of f’ing attention.

10 Ways Pets and Kids Are Similar

1) Food. They need to eat all the time?! Really? My god. Where does all the food go?
2) Ohh.. yeah.. that’s right. 10x a day bathroom trips. (At least you can diaper a kid.. taking the dog out in the middle of a snowy/icy February night so she can walk around and find the perfect place to pee is friggen brutal.)
3) They destroy your house. Plain and simple. Dirty, grimy little baby/puppy paws on everything. Stained and smelly clothes, couchs, and carpet.  They clutter your house with toys, beds, clothes, shampoo, cleaning products, etc.
4) Speaking of messes: DIRT. It's everywhere. Every nook and cranny they can shove it in. You will be alarmed at the rate in which dirt can accumulate RIGHT after cleaning.
5) They play hard. My dog can go for a 3 mile power walk with me, play Frisbee with Paco for 2 hours and then run around the house and still have energy. I see my friends toddlers running around and it exhausts me just watching them. The amount of endless energy they both have is frightening.
6) They crash even harder. After hours of playing they crash hard like a bride-to-be after her Vegas Bachelorette party. They don’t care if its at the most in-opportune time either. They are out cold. And nothing can wake them - not even the smell of freshly popped popcorn.
7) Tantrums. Ripping up a box of cereal or tissues - why? Because they can and because they are pissed and they need you to know it.
8) Crate? Crib? SAME THING

9) Barking and Crying. They both bark /cry for NO apparent reason.

10) TEETHING. Have you ever had a teething puppy or baby bite down on your finger? OUCH.

Any other similarities that I've missed?

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



Got a Secret.. Got to Keep it.

Secret blogging.

Oooooo, so scandalous sounding.

In reality, no it isn't scandalous at all. But for someone like me who has a hard time throwing themselves out into the public eye.. its pretty terrifying (see how that PR and Journalism degree is working out for me?) Plus, people just suck and love to tear down others, remember?

Even in high school or college I was always nervous about giving my speech or presenting my project because I didn't want people to hate my ideas or think I'm an idiot. I was always too afraid to ask my professors to review my papers before the due date because I didn't want them to tell me: "This is complete shit, start over, or you'll fail!" Granted.. I never ran into a situation like that, but the thought was ALWAYS there. Even if I LOVED my idea or project I would overthink it to death and then ultimately ruin any confidence I had on the topic.

So in a way, I guess that fear of people hating things that I create has never escaped me. And ironically.. it's easier to put things online for complete strangers to see rather than family and friends.

However, I don't think half of my family or friends would understand a "blog." It sounds pretty nerdy to me, so I can't imagine trying to explain "I write on the internet for strangers to see!" It sounds a little odd and like I'm asking for my identity to be stolen.

I've read of others who don't share their blog with family or friends because they don't want their "voice" to change and I totally get that. I think we filter ourselves enough so why not let loose and speak our mind when we want on a secret platform?

But, I should probably share this with the fiancé, eh?

HI PACO! Don't get mad if I talk about you sometimes.

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



Basically.. I hate hoodies

Isn't it funny how the mind works? I can't remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday but hearing one word brought back vivid memories of college. 

The other day I heard someone continuously say the word "basically" and I instantly went back to my college Journalism class. Sitting in a cold room lined with computers, 20+ students and my professor going on about his hatred of the word "basically." He explained that it brought no meaning to any sentence because its just a pointless filler word and that we should never use it, ever.
I couldn't help but laugh because to this day I still don't use that word.
A few examples of "words" that irk me:

My sister is the one that pointed out to me how annoying this word is and she is right. I hate saying it. And I hate when other people say it. They were called "sweatshirts" before this term was created and I won't call them hoodies.

How the hell are you supposed to pronounce that? I don't know and I bet you are self conscious about saying it too. I say "Q-pon" and I hate when people say "COO-pon."

Enough said. It sounds dirty regardless of how you're using the word.

Any word...

..that Giada de Laurentiis tries to say with an Italian accent.
Watch the Food Network or Google her cooking show. You'll understand why she makes me want to claw at my ear drums when she says: Mozzarella, Spa-GET-TEE and Ricotta.


I grew up pronouncing this "mElk" which I know is incorrect. Someone pointed it out to me in high school (Why did no one tell me earlier?) and now I have to make a conscious effort to not pronounce it with an "e.

Have you ever been in a situation where you pronounce this Pee-CAN and then someone loudly says the same thing back to you but only to correct you and call it Pee-CON? No? Just me?

Same goes for:

I say car-mel but always seem to get corrected when someone calls it car-a-mel.

This isn't a word.. but a sound
If you lick food of your fingers and make the sucking sound I hope you get attacked by a pack of rabid wolves. That sound is unnecessary. Seriously. You can remove the food with a napkin but if you must lick it off - it can be done without a sound I promise. I know because I can do this without making that sound.

What words do you not like?



Things That Dont' Make Sense

I was browsing through Facespace the other day and you know how it goes - you click on a link (even though you know you shouldn't) and it leads to one page, and then to another and to another and so on until it's 2 a.m. and your eyes are all blood shot and googly looking. Well, I came upon this Buzzfeed link about things that don't make sense and it inspired me to create my own list.

Things That Don't Make Sense

How my perfect little short haired border collie sheds more hair than a yeti.

Why beer tastes better at a sporting event.

Why the last hour of work drags on longer than the first 7.

How I manage to get every red light on the way home from work.

Why I look 10x worse using the front face selfie camera thing on the iPhone.

Why Walmart/Target/CVS/Rite Aid/Walgreens/every store in the southern tier is always out of CoverGirl Perfect Point Plus eyeliner in the shade espresso.

Why leggings are still a thing.

Why it's always beautiful and sunny from 7:30am - 4pm but at 4:30pm when I get home it starts to downpour.

Why prospective employer's want you to have a minimum of 10 years of experience, your Masters Degree in Business, your Ph.D. in Nuclear Medicine, and 5,000 hours of community service helping orphaned monkeys but then only offer you $10 an hour.

What are some things that don't make sense to you?

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



My Fiance's Other Woman

I don't have a problem with sharing. Hell, I think I'm pretty good at sharing and I can attribute that to growing up with 4 other siblings. I don't mind if someone wants to borrow a purse or shirt or even if they put their hand in my box of Cheese Itz while we watch a movie.

But lately, this whole idea of sharing has been taken to a new level because I feel like I am sharing something very personal.. someone I love.. my fiancé.

Without intending to sound dramatic, he was kind of stolen. By another woman.

Actually, she is just a girl. Too young to understand that what she is doing could cause serious repercussions. But nonetheless, it's still hurtful. When it all started, I thought maybe it was just a phase and surely it would end before any real damage was done.

But now, I realize that everything has just changed so much. I am no longer the priority. I can see but more importantly, feel it. To make matters worse, he brings her to work and then comes home smelling like her too.

The real tip of the iceberg was when he started to allow her in our bed. OUR bed. Sharing a bed with another girl is something I never could have imagined myself to do. But here I am. It's shameful. I've gotten to the point where I have no options but to just turn my head.

She is gorgeous though so I don't blame him.....

While I am jealous of the love they have for each other I love her just as much, please don't call PETA on me..

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



I'd hire men to kidnap my family.

I've seen a few of these posts in the past, and if I could remember for the life of me where I saw them I'd reference them but my memory is shot and I feel like a drunk Kim Richards on most days.

kim richards

Anyway. I day dream quite often about winning the lottery. Even if I buy a $1 scratch off ticket I get a brief glimpse of hope that this could be the winning ticket.

charlie and the chocolate factory, lottery

I rarely have cash on me so if I happen to see a few bucks in my wallet and I'm near a lotto machine I instantly think "Wow.. this is a sign.. I need to spend these $3, its meant to be!"

I stand in front of the machine and try to find the ticket that "speaks to me." 9 out of 10 times that voice is wrong.

But still. It's fun while it lasts.


1// I would book a tropical trip for my family and not tell them I won the lottery. I would then stage a kidnapping by men in ski masks who would throw them into large windowless white vans. How amazing would they feel after they find out they are in fact on their way to a tropical location and not getting kidnapped and murdered? Genius. I know.


2// I would buy all of the cars I wanted growing up including: a 1970's VW bug, 2000 VW Beetle, Toyota Celica. Yeah.. I'm super cool.

toyota celica

3// Hire a full time hair stylist.

4// Buy a large property with 7 different houses and 1 communal back yard for my family. Surrounded by an electric fence. And a moat. Filled with crocodiles. That seems a little dramatic but we tend to be antisocial.

5//Eat all the junk I want and then get liposuction. I just want to eat Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust pizza and not feel guilty... I can't bring myself to eat it now but when if I win the lotto ALL bets are off.

And then I'll hire a personal trainer. Who looks like Brad Pitt.

.....Better yet - I will hire Brad Pitt circa Fight Club to train me. Purr.

6// Send out an urgent search to find Bailey's parents and puppy brothers/sisters =( I wonder if she thinks of them ever..

.... Which reminds me.. I'd also get a Change-O Machine to change my brother into a puppy brother.

change o machine, puppy brother

7// Buy a plane for Paco. He's afraid to fly, but I bet I could get him to go anywhere if he was the pilot.

8// Buy a MargaritaVille restaurant franchise on a Florida beach. Why? Because why not.

9// Start my own reality show.

10// Plan a lavishly expensive dream wedding but then serve pizza and beer (Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust... of course.)

Until then.. I will continue to dream.



Random Facts - Part II

I love reading the About Me/Random Facts posts on blogs therefore I figure everyone else does. So enjoy, or else.

1) I've never had coffee from Starbucks. Please don't leave the page! Sorry. I understand that is shocking. How does someone go 27 years without venturing into the mecca of all beverage places? Not sure. But I only drink black coffee.. so I can't imagine they have much for me to see.

2) I just tried frozen yogurt for the first time last month.
(AND IT TASTES NOTHING LIKE YOGURT! What kind of wizardry is that?!

3) One of my AIM screen names used to be PleasureKitten86..........
I saw the name on a Hot Topic book bag patch. It was black pleather with red cursive stitching. I was completely ignorant. But popular with the cyber creepers!

4) One time I yelled so loud in my mom's house that the dining room lights turned on - lights that were previously "broken" and hadn't worked in years. I scared my little brother to death. To this day everyone jokes about it, but secretly I know they're terrified. As am I. We'll just keep blaming it on faulty wiring...

5) I took two years of Spanish in high school and can't speak a word of it.

6) I collect dirt. Yes.. like dirt from the ground. Paco and I never went on a vacation together until the Summer of 2012. So when we decided to drive to Colorado from Pennsylvania (he drove all the way there and back because I can't drive standard..) I thought it would be cool to stop and collect dirt from each state we passed through. I planned on displaying the different layers of dirt in a large vase-type-thing to show how many states we went through and the different colors of the dirt. I did the same thing on our drive down to Florida last summer. And all the dirt is currently in little zip-lock bags in my coat closet... I still haven't found vases for this said "vase project" #slacker

Sincerely and Sarcastically,

Listed Tuesday


Monday Morning Pep Talk - Calm and Happy

Well well well. Here we are. Another Monday morning. And even though I hate to sound like 99.9% of the population – Monday’s are the worst.

This morning I woke up in a pretty decent mood, despite the fact that it is now pitch black outside when my alarm clock blares to rouse me from my slumber at 5:30 am.

Well actually, I never “slumber,” I don’t think I sleep ever. #insomnia

But that is neither here nor there. Once I was awake, I told myself “Self, let’s have a good day. No negativity. No complaining. We are going to be calm and happy, ALL day.”

It was a nice thought. Even put a smile on a tired face.

I rolled out of bed, walked to the bathroom and was about to jump in the shower when the dog started barking uncontrollably.

I slipped and almost broke my neck in the shower because she startled me.

“Calm and happy” lasted all of 1 minute today. (New personal record!!!)

Call me crazy, but I don’t particularly like starting my morning off with a heart attack or near death experience. What was the dog barking at? No idea. Probably her shadow.

After that, I told myself “Self! Starting NOW.. We are going to be calm and happy.”

Everything was going okay until I was walking out the door and realized my white shirt had a glittery make up bronzer face smear on the front of it.

Fantastic. I was running late so I just had to deal with it. I remembered I had some gaudy chunky necklaces tangled in the bottom of my purse. “Great, I’ll put those on at work to hide the stains. Problem solved!!”

So once again, I had a talk with myself. “Self! CALM… happy….”

After getting stuck behind a parade of school busses, Sunday drivers and tractor-trailers I made it to the highway. I was zooming along and then I see.....

a traffic jam.

“SELF!! Just get through today.. ALL you have to do is get through the day.. without killing someone.”

Easy enough? I hope so. (But I haven’t started untangling those necklaces yet.. that might be the breaking point.)

 Sincerely and Sarcastically,


Random Facts

1) I suffer from empathy. I truly worry about everyone and their feelings constantly. Even people that I don't know. It is so overwhelming.

2) I used to be obsessed with obnoxious ring tones.

-Lil Mama - Lip Gloss.. Used that for a solid 6 months.

Lip Gloss by Lil Mama on Grooveshark

-Fergie - London Bridge.. Duh. Musical genius that needed to be played every time my phone made a sound.

London Bridge by Fergie on Grooveshark

3) I realize I should've went into education. I was not a fan of school and even struggled sometimes so I think I would be able to connect to students with similar issues.

4) I can do splits. I have an award for "Awesome Split!" from my cheerleading days. Resume worthy?

5) I obsess about food. Like obsess about not eating certain things. I don't drink soda. Because its unhealthy? No, I dont want the wasted calories or the full bloated feeling from diet soda.

6) I sing songs to my cat and dog.. love songs. Itty Bitty's song is currently You Are My Sunshine by Ray Charles and Bailey's song is Happy Together by The Turtles.

7) I think I actually have a deviated septum. Ya know that thing girls use as an excuse for a nose job? Yeah, I think I have it. I cannot breathe out of my nose, at all. I have to make a conscious effort to do so. My voice is terribly nasally too. However, I do have a large nose so if I ever got it fixed I'm afraid people would assume that's the reason.

8) I have awful road rage. I'd be afraid for someone to be in the car with me on my commute to and from work because I'm scary.

9) I absolutely hate the marshmallows in Lucky Charm cereal. 

10) I eat peanut butter out of the jar with a fork. Why? Because it just feels right. 

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



Things That Make Me Stabby - Copied

I've seen this post on a couple other blogs and they had me laughing hysterically (I just had to google how to spell that because Blogger kept telling me to spell it with an "A" - that made me stabby before I even started). If you wrote a post about this, please comment so I can reference your page!

Update!!!: I remember where I saw a post like this: The Other Juliette's blog.. SO funny. Please go read it.

Truthfully it doesn't take much to get on my nerves... and sometimes these things are little nothings and other times they seem so big and problematic that they make me question the entire workings of the universe. Here's a few:

annoyed, modern family, stabby

1 - Spelling hysterically in Blogger. Blogger wanted me to spell it "Hystarically".. BLOGGER, NO, FAIL

2 - The girl who has her wedding planned who isn't even dating. Sorry not sorry - grow up.

3 - Speaking of weddings.. WHY DO THEY COST MORE THAN A HOUSE?!

4 - When you're scrolling through Facebook and the app freezes and you have to GO BACK and find where you left off.........

5 - Read # 4 and replace "Facebook" with "Twitter"

6 - When you jump in the shower and forget to grab a towel.

7 - When you go to the grocery store for chicken and they are out of chicken. All the chicken gone. ZERO PIECES OF CHICKEN ANYTHING.  #smalltownproblems

8 - When I'm stopped at a red light or stop sign behind a line of cars and I inch up a little and the car behind me follows and inches up too. GET OFF ME.

9 - How Subway 6 inch subs cost just as much as the $5 foot long. Seriously my 6inch Turkey and American  cheese sub costs $4.25+tax when a foot long is $5. HOW?! I'm not some fancy math-scientist (obviously) but that doesn't make sense to me. Sure I could get the foot long but I don't want that much fake processed meat.

10 - How the tiniest, minuscule shaving cut on your leg bleeds more than a gunshot wound.

What makes you stabby?

Sincerely and Sarcastically,



THE VAULT: Trends I Can't Pull Off - Part 1

Over the past year or so of blogging on and off I have accumulated several blog posts that I wrote and love. I reverted them all back to drafts recently when I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with this space. I decided to bring some of those posts back in a weekly segment called The Vault. So if you've already seen these - feel free to ignore. If not, please enjoy!

 Sincerely & Sarcastically,


the vault sincerely and sarcastically

THE VAULT: Trends I Can't Pull Off - Part I

This morning as I was getting ready for work and styling my hair I tried to part my hair/side bangs straight down the middle. And it was atrocious. I just don't look good with my hair styled certain ways which got me to thinking of other trends/things I can't pull off. 

Middle Hair Part.
I have tried this 100's of times and I cannot pull it off. I look awful. Everyone else looks stunning and classy when their hair is styled in a chic middle part. It makes my face look long, odd shaped and just scary. Like this:

side part, middle part, hair, cher movie

Skinny jeans.
I have a problem fitting in jeans - no matter what style, shape or brand. They are either too long in the legs, too tight around the waist, too baggy in the butt, etc. I have always struggled to find jeans so when this skinny trend hit I nearly cried. I do not own a pair of jeans that I am 100% happy wearing. BRING BACK PARIS BLUE BELL BOTTOM FLARE JEANS!

And on the topic of skinny pants... Leggings.
I think I'm just too self conscious to have tight/nearly see through pants on. I have a couple pairs of black leggings but I've never worn them anywhere but to my mom's house. On a Sunday. At night. When it was dark. And I was drunk..

BECAUSE I can't find skinny jeans or leggings to tuck them into. UGH.

When I wear a tank, with a chunky knit sweater, and a chevron scarf with 14 thousand and fifty bracelets I look like I gained 45 lbs and like I'm trying WAY to hard to be trendy. It doesn't look natural. Or trendy.

friends joey layering

I have to admit I was in love with a few CW shows (Gossip Girl) back in the day I watched some other awful teen shows too. However.. this show. I just. Can't. I tried. I reallllly tried to watch this show and like it. After seeing so much hype about the show I rented the first season on Netflix (yes, I am the only person in America to still receive the DVD's vs streaming) and I watched a few episodes. But I just feel.. old? I don't know. It's a high school show and I feel creepy watching it.

Pretty Little Liars, Trendy

Pumpkin Spiced Latte's have obviously taken over the world. I've had 1 my entire life and it was and it was pretty awful. I felt like I was drinking a glass of potpourri.

Trendy, PSL, Pumpkin Spice Latte

I am the world's WORST selfie picture taker. Don't believe me?

selfie, trends

Arm candy.
I can't function with 50 things on my wrist. How the hell do all of you? I love the look of it but I don't think I'm cool enough to do it. I feel like this..

trends, arm candy, bracelets

Will eventually lead to this..

trends, arm brace

I really need to incorporate healthy food options into my life but the idea of drinking cold, green mush sounds as fun as visiting the dentist and gyno in the same day. I bought a Ninja a few months back with the intentions to try to use it for something other than margaritas (HA!) and I haven't been brave enough to try it because all I can think of is...
smoothies, trends, slime, nickelodeon

I'm hoping some of these trends fade quickly because I just can't keep up. 


Opinions are like A-holes

AKA - you're an a-hole.

I love quotes. Browse through my Pinterest "Quotable" Board and you'll find a wide range of quotes, sayings, and words.

One quote or saying that I've been thinking a lot about lately is the one that goes something like "opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one" ? Well, my God. If that ain't the truth.

Maybe I'm just being sensitive but it seems that everyone I encounter lately feels the need to express shove their unwanted opinion down my throat. On any topic, anywhere, any time. I feel like I can't have my own thoughts or ideas without being ridiculed for them.

Real Housewives Beverly Hills

I'm very opinionated. I have my quirks - no doubt about it. I can go on and on about certain topics like a broken record but I can usually realize when I need to shut up (unless I'm full of Miller Lite.)

I won't purposely be-little you for disagreeing with me. I probably won't think less of you either. I won't try to convince you that plain cheese pizza is the best (which it is) when you're a meat lover fan. Why? Because it's pointless. And honestly, it doesn't really matter (and.. it leaves more plain cheese for me.)

Don't get me wrong, I think that everyone is entitled to their opinion. And I respect an individuals right to express themselves, their views and beliefs.  But rude unsolicited advice/opinions/remarks are unnecessary. Don't preach YOUR views just to tear down someone else's

I can't understand people who make it their life mission to disagree with you. You know that other saying: "Can we just agree to disagree?" Yeah, these people don't know how to that so it feels like you are constantly beating your head against a wall of rusty nails.

So what is the solution? How do we deal with these people?

Dance Moms Wrong Opinion




Don't Look Under The Bed


We all have them, correct? Or at least I'd like to think so. One could assume that we'd grow out of these fears after a while (aka after 25+ years..) Right? Well, wrong. For some reason the darkness and things hiding under my bed still scare me. There is no rhyme or reason for it. I've never had a traumatic experience with either. Until last night.

I went about my night time routines, got into PJ's and hopped into bed (yes, I have to actually hop because we have a king-sized platform bed). I laid there for a couple seconds trying to get comfortable and then I heard a weird scratching/rustling noise under the bed.

I froze.  Tried to be as still as possible. Listened carefully for the noise to repeat. Hoping I just  imagined it.

*Rustle* *Scratch* *Bump*

I have spent YEARS dreading this exact moment and it was finally happening.

Obviously my first logical adult thought was "MONTSTER!!!"

Then I thought well maybe an animal got into the house.. we do kind of live in the country. Or maybe the cat brought an animal in! She's been an evil little psycho lately.. so maybe it's one of her little prisoners. Hopefully a cute little chipmunk or baby bunny...

or maybe it's a rabid flesh eating vampire zombie .

After a couple seconds of these random thoughts, I worked up the courage to crawl to the end of the bed and reluctantly peer over the edge to see...

.. a small black puppy tail sticking out.

Apparently Bailey has found a new hiding spot for her toys and rawhides.

So I guess the moral of this story is to stop being such a wuss. And to check under the bed for monsters and puppies from now on..

Sincerely & Sarcastically,


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